World Cupper

Last Sunday I was watching the Australia-Germany play a soccer game with my stepson.  Australia and Germany, which by the way,  seem like the two countries that would produce the world’s most unappealing fusion cuisine.  But in the middle of the game I suddenly I realized that every single person on the field, including the umpires, was extraordinarily good looking in way that may very well violate the Geneva Convention of Human Rights of Less Attractive People.

“OMG!” I screeched. “Why are they all good looking?”
“I can’t tell that they are all good looking,” my teenage stepson told me because no man can ever tell if another man is handsome.  Which is why it’s great that women are around to help them out with that problem.

“Can you tell that they’re all athletic?” I checked. Because it’s always a good idea to screen for vision problems.

“Yes.  They’re world class athletes.”

“World class good looking athletes.  Maybe good looks are a requirement for being on the team?”

“If you saw the French soccer player, you’d know that it wasn’t,” he told me.

* * *

The next day I overhead a friend talking about the not-handsome French soccer player.

So of course I became obsessed with tracking down his picture.  And since I didn’t know his name, I had to google things like “unattractive yet professional soccer player from France”.

Finally, I just asked my stepson for his name, and here he is:

But I'm sure that he's a nice person, and that's what really counts!

Okay, so he’s not the most handsome man that I’ve ever seen.  But surely he has the type of character that most can only aspire to?

Except, uh-oh, what’s this?  Oh? He was involved in a sex scandal?  Well, goodness, who hasn’t?  With a prostitute, you say? Hmm.  World’s oldest profession, after all.  In this age of internet startups, there is something refreshing about going back to basics. Oh.  Underage prostitute?  Look, I’m trying here.  But I think that the moral of this story is that if you’re facially challenged, maybe you shouldn’t be paying children for sex.

Just a thought.

Image credit

Disclaimer:  I’m not a beauty queen myself.  But I’ve yet to be caught with an underage prostitute.  (And not just because I’m on a budget.  Really, even if I were rolling in it, I’d do other things with my money.  Like buy one of those handsome soccer players to be my new cleaning lady).

One year ago ...

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