The Weather

The other day, my mama went to pick up the kids from school because I had an important appointment, which is also known as a massage. Â Everything went well, except when I came home she told me that my daughter was at school N’AKED ALL DAY. This is obviously alarming, because I’m one of those parents who doesn’t approve of nudity in the schools, but then after a half second, I realize that mama is exaggerating and that she doesn’t mean that my daughter was literally n’aked (and I’m spelling it like that because I’m sick of perverts coming here by googling various grossness, and I’m sure they’re really disappointed as well, so this is like a public service, except for people who like words written properly).Â

Anyway, I realize that what mama means is that my daughter wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather, because she was wearing a t-shirt and capri-like pants and she may as well have been n’aked.

The weather conversation with mama is one of my least favorite ever because she suffers from Â Unorthodox Weather Beliefs, such as:

1. 60 degrees in the spring is colder than 60 degrees in the summer. Because the sun is just warming up.
2. If a girl sits on a rock, she will be infertile because she will freeze her ..er… uterus? fallopian tube? (note to self: ask mama if this applies only to girls with protruding fallopian tubes).

This would explain why I spent summers as a child dressed like this: