Update from Vacation

So far, our vacation is awesome, mainly because when we came over on the ferry Saturday afternoon, we did not die. I see that as a big plus. On Friday, the ferry people told us that the service would be canceled on Saturday because of Hurricane Bob but then they decided to reschedule Hurricane Bob and we were able to go after all. Except the waves were super rough and the ride was very WHEEE! for the kids and very Titanic for me. (By the way, I mean Titanic just in the ship sinking and all of us dying way, not the Celine Dion soundtrack way. No need to be melodramatic.)

I was totally panicked. I called Husbandrinka on his cell, because while I was on the bottom deck converting to Islam and Christianity just to have all the major ones covered, he was at the top deck with the kids, taking in the sun.

“I’m super panicked!” I told him when he picked up the phone, sounding a little too cheerful.
“About what?” he asked.
“Oh you know, the polar bears. We are destroying the ice caps–WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ABOUT WHAT? About drowning to death!”
“Why don’t you come up here?” he suggested, “You’ll be higher up and further away from the water. Increased chances of survival.”

See? This is why despite his multiple documented personality flaws, I love this man. He’s always thinking of ways to prolong my life.
So I gather my things- and as start to head upstairs, I decide to seek solace from a young Adonis who happens to be wearing an official Ferry t-shirt. Surely, he’s a seasoned seaman and will be able to reassure me.

“Excuse me,” I approached him. “The water seems very rough and I am quite nervous. Are these normal conditions?”

And he says, “no, these are not normal conditions. It’s rough because there’s a hurricane.” Which is not super-reassuring. But I decide to give him another chance to redeem himself and reassure me.
So I say, “haha, perhaps we should put on our lifejackets now!” hoping that he would say, “are you crazy, lass? There’s absolutely no need!” Because for some reason he’s now Irish, and hopefully carrying a bottle of Glenlivet or at least a few pints of Guiness. But instead he says, “not yet. we’ll let you know when it’s time to put them on” I don’t know why they let these anti-semites on board, when they are obviously not trained to handle people in the early stages of a nervous breakdown.

So I crawl upstairs and when I see Husbandrinka and the kids, I am instantly cheered. Because right behind them are a whole bunch of lifeboats, so I feel like I am in excellent company.

And the kids are adorable, all “this is so much fun!” way that people who do not understand that we are on the brink of death often are and Husbandrinka says, “the ferry isn’t crowded at all, usually it’s packed” and I say, “they probably want to keep the death toll down” which seems like a normal conversational comment and he’s all “would you stop being so dramatic” and I’m all, “this could be my final act!” and he may have rolled his eyes, but I can’t be sure because I only see the good in people.

But a few measly kazillion minutes later, we docked safely and our vacation began in earnest. I don’t mean to be all teaser-y and all, but I swear, I have like three years’ worth of blog fodder from this trip already. So if you’re low on blog posts, why not consider inviting my family along on your next vacation. Email your proposed destinations to me. You should totally hurry, because I’m sure we’ll be in high demand.

And the only place that I’ve been able to get WiFi on the island is at a local bakery so obviously, God wants me to eat danishes.

Oh, and check out who’s guest posting for me at The Mouthy Housewives today. It’s a can’t miss!

One year ago ...

• Wisdom From Young Ladrinka - 2010