Today, I read Jill’s (aka Scary Mommy‘s!) excellent post on The Stir — Top 10 Reasons I Hate Your Kids. Â Jill is hysterical, as always, and her list is great–and totally relatable. Â Because, duh. Kids are gross.
I read, I laughed and I left a comment. Â It has since been removed, so I don’t have it verbatim, but it went something like this:
Great post! I hate kids, too! I swear, I don’t know how pedophiles do it!
I left the comment and went on with my day. Â Washing the lepers’ wounds and all that.
And then I checked back.
To see this response to my comment:
This was a very funny article, but the above comment is truly disturbing. Why the hell would you drag a topic like pedophiles into this? You’re pretty much just as sick for letting your mind even go there. Wtf???
OMG, do you think she’s right?
Am I as bad as a pedophile?!
And she wasn’t alone:
“This was a very funny article, but the above comment is truly disturbing. Why the hell would you drag a topic like pedophiles into this? You’re pretty much just as sick for letting your mind even go there. Wtf???”
I agree. What?!?!
How do pedophiles “do it” ?
Pedophiles do not love and care for children, they abuse them and ruin their lives.
The article was funny enough but that comment was just sad.
It was. Â So, so sad.
But every day is an opportunity to learn something new, so I’m grateful that I learned that pedophiles don’t really love children, and don’t, in fact, have their best interests at heart.
For the record, I oppose pedophilia. Â Very, very strongly.
And I also oppose people who have no fucking sense of humor.
One year ago ...
- Of Mice and Me - 2011
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Great post! I hate humourless people too! I swear, I don’t know how Jay Leno’s wife does him.
Twitter: nicole_pelotn
November 30, 2010 at 2:02 am
The post was funny, but really, why did you have to drag Leno into it. that is just going way too far.
Twitter: CTSanders
November 30, 2010 at 9:15 am
LOL!
Twitter: neilochka
November 29, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Sicko.
Twitter: overflowinbrain
November 29, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Okay, I personally think that was a pretty freaking funny comment. But a similar thing happened to me on twitter and then again yesterday on my blog because apparently sarcasm is really, really complicated.
Wow, you have pedophile tendencies AND you compare yourself to Jesus? How has the Dept. of Homeland Security not seized your domain name yet?
Maybe someone should create a TradeMark-like symbol that we could all use at the end of posts/comments when we’re attempting to convey humor. Just to avoid any pesky confusion in the future. IATTBFSTTGSOOYA = I Am Trying To Be Funny So Take The Giant Stick Out Of Your Ass. That might catch on.
That was JESUS? I totally thought it was Princess Diana who dealt with the lepers.
Ok. I made a comment soon after that and saw the furor but could NOT find the comment they were alluding too. I read everything twice and figured I was just going stupid. It’s true…a sense of humor is an endangered commodity. For the record, while I do NOT support pedophiles, I thought the comment was pretty funny. Some people need to get a life!
I had the same problem! Couldn’t find it, so I thought it had been deleted.
Twitter: MFAMama
November 29, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Haaaa…I think your comment was hilarious. Some people need to unclench a little. SRSLY.
Isn’t Scary Mommy your friend? Why did she not defend you? (I do love to stir the pot a bit.)
Twitter: momofali
November 29, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Tomorrow, can you say something about the gays and the colored people? Please. It keeps the internet so much more interesting…
Okay, I’ll try to squeeze it in.
I thought your comment was funny. But I have an awesome sense of humor and I am always sarcastic. I agree with the above poster, those people need to unclench a little.
I’m all for humor, but as someone who has worked with sexually abused kids, I just don’t find it funny. Just as I wouldn’t find someone joking about rape funny. Or suicide. Or people dying of cancer, either.
On the internet it’s hard to interpret things. The other day someone was being sarcastic about drunk driving, and my knee jerk reaction was to call them on it, but instead I asked for clarification. She was being sarcastic.
It didn’t look that way. Instead, it looked like she totally was okay with drunk driving. Which is her prerogative, but would’ve made me unfollow in a heartbeat.
I guess the bottom line is that if you are going to go there, be prepared for people to react.
I think that is completely fair and I appreciate your comment.
I don’t find rape, pedophilia, cancer or suicide funny, either. But does that mean that those topics are unmnentionables, humor-wise? I hope not.
It is sad when people take themselves too seriously. Great post.
Wow, seriously people need to lighten up. I read that post when your comment was still there, and it made me giggle. That must be some bug up their asses.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times, there needs to be a font for sarcasm…just so those whose brains don’t default to sarcasm can know the difference.
sar-chasm: The giant gulf between the sarcastic comment and the person who doesn’t get it.
Some people have a sense of humour, others are so clenched they can open cokes with their asses, but would never tell anyone that have such a skill.
Is there a way I can like this comment? LIKE
Those are most likely the same people who get offended when gay marriage is brought up, who say things about terrorists that come off as racist to anyone with a brain and who get ticked off at Scary Mommy a few times a week for her posts.
I read it…and laughed. I am a long time follower of both bloggers. I guess those who do not read you Marinka, don’t understand. I (and many others that I know) LOVE your wit and sarcasm. Keep on keepin on.
Twitter: momdot
November 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm
im glad you explained cause i never saw your comment and i was all sorts of confused. funny shit.
Twitter: gonnakillhim
November 29, 2010 at 10:18 pm
You WERE the ghostwriter behind that pedophilia guide on Amazon. I thought so! People are ridiculous – good humor, according to Ricky Gervais, will offend as many as it appeals to.
Oh my. Why are people so serious?
My left over Thanksgiving Thankfulness goes to you for dealing with insanity so well. 🙂
I saw the complaints but not your comment. It had me curious all day. Yes. No sense of humor. Gee whiz.
Now I feel bad that I said that they have no sense of humor. I meant “an inferior sense of humor.”
As a survivor (notice I didn’t say victim) of childhood sexual abuse I actually found your comment hysterical and not the least bit offensive. I’m glad to know my sense of humor and my ability to understand sarcasm are intact. I often find the people who get the most offended by such things are the people who don’t know what it’s really like to have it happen to them.
What I like most about you is your ability to say what you think. Out loud. Keep it up.
Twitter: CTSanders
November 30, 2010 at 9:03 am
I need a “Like” button for your reply 🙂
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
November 30, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I have to agree with you. On all counts.
One thing that I keep thinking is, people treat the word like saying it, makes it happen.
We could always start saying, things that can’t be named. Of course, the list would get so long, people would always be confused as to what the actual topic was.
Twitter: justMom42
November 29, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Wait? What? Suicide isn’t funny? Well, there goes my whole routine.
I too, was curious about the comment that caused such an uproar. I read thru the comments twice to see what I had overlooked (which is saying something ‘cos my computer is slow as crap)
Well, I have a sense of humor, and am going to attempt to follow you. (if my computer lets me)
Oh, God. I hate people who don’t have a sense of humour, too. I think you are the funniest person EVER. xo
I always thought Marinka followers were smarter than the average bear. Now I know it.
Twitter: amyblam
November 29, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Because I have a sense of humor, I would have understood what you meant without the explanation. People who always assume the worst are sad. They should laugh a little.
Twitter: ohmommy
November 29, 2010 at 11:15 pm
I found that comment offensive and repulsive, Marinka in NYC. But whom am I to judge? I idolize Sarah Palin. 😉
(Please note that “offensive” & “repulsive” should not be linked with Palin.)
Twitter: ohmommy
November 29, 2010 at 11:17 pm
And Geesh. For the record… I do not idolize Palin. Just in case no one has a sense of humor, or humour in Canadian, here.
Twitter: bmt108
November 29, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Some people really need to realize a joke when they hear/see/read one. Clearly those commenters are not readers here because everyone here knows to take your comments as seriously as your husband does…
Twitter: nannygoats
November 29, 2010 at 11:20 pm
I feel your pain. I once lost the opportunity for some free stir-it-up publicity when I made a joke and someone didn’t get it (mind you this was on MY blog, in MY house). She left an incoherent ALL CAPS rant in my comments section and then proceeded directly over to her own blog where she wrote an entire post about ME and what a effing this and effing that I was, again grammatically disastrous and I didn’t even bite. Dang. I coulda been somebody that day.
Anyway, this was about you, not me, wasn’t it?
As the old saying goes, “F*** ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
I agree with Margaret– this was a great opportunity for you to gain some free publicity. I was not familiar with your blog until the Scary Mommy brouhaha today, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who followed the trail to discover what a funny, talented writer was behind that comment. Clever girl! 🙂
Fuck ’em! Those who know and love you appreciate your sarcastic wit.
Well now I’m afraid to comment in case an insane person takes offense at my comment, too. But I also kind of feel sorry for the person who was upset with you–it must be very difficult going through life not knowing when things are funny.
After all this I’m left pondering, who’s more sick: you or the criticizer who asked you to detail how pedophiles “do it”.
Twitter: kferrandino
November 30, 2010 at 12:47 am
I love your blog. I really really do. And I get the humor – but I understand why people woud be so offended by that. Besides, pedophiles are so like, pedantic. Ya know? Everyone only knows you resort to pedophile humor only in the most desperate of situations and by god, marinka, we know you could have pulled some better material.
I have read you for years. I know you are not sick. I know people fail to see the humor in some things. But I still think some things just are never fodder for humor.
Kiran
Twitter: jonestess
November 30, 2010 at 12:53 am
Your comment was funny (I thought). Those who don’t find it funny, that’s ok too. But offensive? Not by a long shot. I just don’t get (most) people.
Twitter: suebob
November 30, 2010 at 1:14 am
That’s some tightassed bitches over there. Humor COMES from pain. The reason your comment was funny is that it IS sick. The less we are supposed to laugh at things, the more subversively funny they are. This is why there’s a lot of inappropriate giggling at funerals.
Comedy 101. Please pay your instructor.
ThankYhank God for Marinka’s sense of humor!
I got it! I got the joke and yes it was a sick joke but I still laughed. Those who laughed & felt guilty prob should not have responded. Those who laughed and didn’t feel guilty! Now they’ve got a sense of humor. Duh!
JEEZE!
That was LOL funny! My favorite radio guy you-know-who used to say that it wasn’t difficult to pick out the pedophiles because they were the only adults who actually wanted to spend time with kids. I don’t understand how the other people didn’t seem to understand it was a joke.
I think you are funny, but then again I am a Belgian we are used to laughing at/with inappropriate things (160 days after the general elections and still no government, yeah!)
I’m trying really hard to resist making a joke about pedophilia in Belgium after reading the last comment. And I live there as well so I can site specifics, not make sweeping generalizations, but that’s off topic.
The comment you made, while not particularly to my taste, was obviously made in a sarcastic, humorous way. The fact that people got shitty about it just shows that they are, on some level, close minded and intolerant jerks who refuse to see something beyond it’s surface value. Although in their minds I’m sure they’re champions of human rights and political correctness.
What sort of irked me is that the author of the post (who I don’t know and don’t read so I’m not biased here) removed your “inflammatory” comment but left the angry responses up. If she wanted to avoid drama on her blog she should’ve taken all of the related comments down. By only taking the inital comment down, it pretty much looks like she feels the same as the others and doesn’t want that kind of comment on her blog. I’m all for equal opportunity censorship.
It wasn’t Jill who removed my comment, it was the site moderator (or someone like that). It didn’t bother me, because I didn’t want my comment to hijack the post. This way, some of the commenters went off the reservation and started fuming at Jill for “hating children.”
But I love the idea of equal opportunity censorship! Let’s censor everything!
I’d totally support a blog burning.
I suppose the problem with social media is that the intent is never really clear, so if people don’t know who you are it can always get twisted around or misinterpreted. And I guess pedophilia is just something most people are not willing to give you a benefit of the doubt….
takes balls to then make a post out of it. kudos to ya
Twitter: scarymommy
November 30, 2010 at 6:41 am
I am all out of witty retorts. But I love you. Love you, long time.
XOXO
I don’t think you are “as bad as a pedophile” and I don’t think you intended to be hurtful and vulgar. But that is the point – it was a thoughtles and hurtful comment about a topic that is simply not funny. It was immature. I think YOU are humorless
You’re in good company, my husband didn’t like the comment either. And neither did my cat.
Good grief. Or as James Carville would say after commenting that if Hillary gave Obama one of her balls, he would have 2 ‘I’m NOT apologizing’. Everyone that knows Marinka knows that humor is humor – and sometimes dark humor is pretty darn funny. See the Coen Brothers collection.
“Kids are gross, I don’t know how pedophiles do it,”–awesome. Need to figure out how to work that into conversation. I live in a foreign country so it can be extra-fun to be sarcastic (in English) and watch the wheels turn when people try to figure me out.
Twitter: CTSanders
November 30, 2010 at 8:55 am
I thought your comment was funny but it’s because I read your blog, so they just don’t get your sense of humor. Don’t let it bother you, people don’t get mine either.
Twitter: vboykis
November 30, 2010 at 9:19 am
These commenters are the same people who paste Onion articles on their Facebook and act outraged because they think The Onion is real.
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
November 30, 2010 at 2:42 pm
WAIT!!!! The Onion isn’t real????
Shit.
Twitter: princessmikkimo
November 30, 2010 at 9:43 am
Wow! This is hotter than Bristol Palin about to steal DWTS!
I do love you and your little instigating ways.
Twitter: Peajaye
November 30, 2010 at 9:48 am
Don’t you just hate it when people talk and joke about pedophilia? It makes it so much harder for the pedophiles to follow their hearts – and other body parts.
When I was 8, the Lector at our church had a crush on me and used to hug and kiss me in front of everyone. People thought it was cute – he read Scripture at church – of course it was innocent! He was a cub scout leader, (of course), and seized on my interest in Native Americans to help “design” an authentic costume for me to wear in the Memorial Day parade – which consisted of a flap in front and back and nothing else. Thank God my mother was on my side – the sane side that said, No fucking way, he’s wearing a bathing suit underneath.
When it came time to try on the “costume” at one point, I did not want to get naked in front of this creep, and my father actually berated me for my modesty. “We’re all men, here, etc…” and he offered to stay in the room and all of that. (My dad actually APOLOGIZED to the guy for my behavior.) But luckily, I knew there was no fucking way this was going to happen or that I was going to let myself be alone with this monster.
A few years later, he was arrested for “mentoring” some other 8 year old. And everyone was shocked! Shocked! And years later, my dad apologized, but I explained to him that it was lucky that I was gay because I knew how to recognize that same-sex thing going on, so tragedy was averted.
So, at the risk of throwing mud on your blog, Marinka, I have to say that I find comments of SM “thoughtless and hurtful” – not yours. Because people like SM and the ones on that other blog – they’re the enablers. They’re the ones who cause real harm. They’re the ones who let the cockroaches and rats thrive in the dark by being “sensitive” and “helpful.” And I can guarantee you, because of your willingness to joke about this subject, some other little 8 year old’s mother will now be able to say, “No fucking way,” and prevent him or her from being scarred for life.
Are you kidding me? My opinion that the author made a comment that was hurtful to other adult commenters makes me an enabler of criminals and abusers of children? You are out of your mind.
What we need is mothers and fathers of 8 year olds who are encouraged to teach their kids about boundaries and standing up for themselves rather than jokes that trivialize the problem and e foster the belief that it’s pedophilia is sexual and not violence.
But my main point was that I thoght it was a pretty inappropriate stretch to accuse her of vulgar thoughts and equate her comment to pedophilia. However, it was hurtful to many people who vigilently try to protect their kids or who have survived abuse. And in my opinion it simply wasn’t very funny. And that doesn’t make me humourless or fail to appreciate sarcasm or even black humor. Nor does it make me an anabler of pedophiles.
Twitter: Peajaye
November 30, 2010 at 10:51 am
SM, I am not out of my mind.
I am pointing out that while your intentions are good, they can lead to hell. Of course, no sane parent wants his/her child to be molested. No one in my childhood church congregation thought they were enabling a pedophile. The point is that their ignorance allowed it. To their credit – and to my father’s credit – it was entirely out of their range of the possible. (btw, it was my father’s appropriate affection towards me that allowed me to discern the difference.)
But how exactly is one “vigilant” against pedophilia? I think we disagree on the approach. I think by joking about it and naming the elephant in the room, it leaves the predators less space – and you clearly don’t. And yet, here we are, discussing it.
Which I think is good.
Agreed, talking about it is good. I think many people believe pedophilia is sexual whe it is really about manipulation and power and violence. I think joking about why a pedophile would be attracted to a child encourages the belieg that it is about a midguided sex act rather than assault. The current post on this blog is probably a good one for the reasson you stated. But I doubt that this discussion was ever the intention of the original comment.
By vigilent, I mean teaching your kids to protect themselves by teaching them how to trust their instincts (as you did), escaping dangerous situations, and reporting questionable behavior to mom and dad, NOT disciplining them for not wanting to be touched, hugged, or left with an adult, and knowing their playmates’ families and talking to them about their interactions with other adults. At two, my kids knew how to say “it’s my body and you may not touch it” which is a good start.
Obviously, at some point your child will be alone with other adults, but I am vigilent by doing everything I can to reduce their vulnerability, being sensitive to other adults manipulating me to be around my kids and trusting my own instincts and overcoming the urge to be polite, and making sure my kids feel like theiy can talk to me honestly.
I have a registered offender living down the street. But frankly I am more scared of the father or mother down the street with 4 kids who is a pedophile and I don’t know it. That is vigilence.
So, I have given these topic a lot of thought and if you knew me, you would know thatvthe last thing I am is an “enabler.” I agree many parents are in la-la land on this topic but tha tis not me – and that is why YOUR comment irritated me so. That said, I am glad to have had this discussion.
My original intent in the “I don’t know how pedophiles do it!” was to make a joke that kids are so gross, how can anyone get close to them. I’ll admit that I did not give it much thought and I certainly did not foresee making a separate post about it.
I understand that my joke was not to everyone’s liking and that not everyone found it funny. But no way was it promoting pedophilia.
Twitter: msmegan
November 30, 2010 at 9:48 am
How DO the pedophiles do it?
I think your comment was funny but I’m not shocked that some people might not. When I said on my blog that I was not boycotting Amazon someone told me they hoped my children were surrounded by child molesters and that it would be ALL MY FAULT. People aren’t always rational or able to have a reasonable sense of humor about things.
I can’t stop laughing. But I would have expected that in mixed company.
See, now I think your comment was fabulous.
But …not long ago in a forum, people were making fun of “retards” and I immediately cried!! and just left the group instead of lambasting them. Because it was frickin’ painful. Yes, I cried. I wished I could justify their jokes but I just could not stop thinking about my severely disabled sons, and how I would die for them if I could make their lives “normal”.
I don’t know you, but I didn’t for one second think you were pro-pedophilia.
I wouldn’t want people to censor themselves around me…at all! But there are jokes and then there’s ignorance.
xo
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
November 30, 2010 at 10:45 am
You’re not pro-pedophilia? Now I’m confused.
Twitter: MelissaSChapman
November 30, 2010 at 10:47 am
I just heart u … that is all!
Twitter: mom101
November 30, 2010 at 10:48 am
See, you should have just said Roman Polanski.
Then everyone would have rallied behind you like “yeah! I hate Roman Polanski! That pedophile!”
That’s five dollars please.
Twitter: wendiaarons
November 30, 2010 at 11:08 am
Should I be boycotting you? Please advise. I need to start writing my list in pencil.
The only way your comment would have been funnier was if you could have managed to work a catholic priest and a birthday clown in to it… people are too f*ing sensitive. (and I’m leaving out the “uck” on that word so nobody gets offended.)
This is why sarcasm should be taught in schools. My child and I are both fluent in sarcasm. 🙂
Raspberries to the humorless.. I have the same sense of humor. Dry, and sometimes caustic.. and it has gotten me my fair share of side eyes. You are however talking to the woman who laughed at a funeral and had to go sit in the car.
Twitter: CTSanders
November 30, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Oh I dread funerals for this reason! I have a weird sense of humor.
I have heard that Federal Government concentrates convicted pedophiles in one of the Massachusetts prisons for the purpose of studying them closer.
Hopefully there will be some new remedy for this condition soon.
Twitter: alexcampbell11
November 30, 2010 at 1:16 pm
the internet seriously does not get sarcasm.
Twitter: annsrants
November 30, 2010 at 1:50 pm
My favorite new sentence “I do not support pedophiles”
Twitter: suebob
December 1, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Maybe we need a support group or a Facebook page for the few and proud among us who do not support pedophiles.
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
November 30, 2010 at 2:25 pm
I think sarcasm it a great gift. You are phenomenal at it. Is one of the many reasons I adore you.
I think people either have it or they don’t though.
One day, after I learn how to bottle and sell common sense, because holy shit people are lacking in that skill, I will bottle sarcasm and see it as well.
Twitter: adhocmom
November 30, 2010 at 3:58 pm
I believe you should take your comment about kid touchers and use it to hijack something much grander….like a small country with child labor.
I love you! Your fabulous! Please don’t change! Humor is what gets us all through!!
Oh fuck a duck. Seriously?
Oops. I probably just offended duck fuckers. It’s like we humorists are damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
Right at this time in my life I wouldn’t find jokes about suicide funny AT ALL. I may never find them funny now. However, that doesn’t mean everyone else in the world must respect my pain and scars at every single moment. I’d need to get the hell over myself.
Truth be told, I hope I do get to a place where I can laugh at suicide jokes. There’s healing in laughter. At least that’s my belief.
Oddly, I made a similar comment at work today. Something to the effect of why people would even steal children given the amount of freaking effort. Were it me, I’d go for a car or something. I got answers like “because there’s sick people out there”.
I hope santa puts a lot of sense of humor under the tree for people this year.
Wow…Well, Marinka, I think your blog is hilarious, and you have a great sense of humour. Personally, though, I didn’t find either the original post or your comment particularly chuckle-worthy. Not sure how people made the jump to you promoting pedophilia, though! It was so obviously a joke, albeit not all that funny!
Having just finished dealing with the issue personally and been to court to watch the preceedings and gone through the hell of hearing my sons disclosure and reporting it (and the accused I considered a friend) Reading the comment would be painful(I cannt find the humour but I understand the cleverness) but from where I sit at this time….it takes away from the seriousness and the pain of this issue.
Twitter: Faiqa
December 1, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I had something clever to say and then I started reading the comments… and, wow. Pedophiles are popular. 😉
Twitter: hepcat281
December 1, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I read the responses, but your comment had been deleted before I read the post. Now that I have read it I must say how deeply offended I am by people with no sense of humor. Why are other women so concerned with being non offensive and so opposed to off color humor? Is that why the ladies at work don’t talk to me anymore?
Twitter: hepcat281
December 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Oh. And I should also add that I work in criminal law. We understand that you have to laugh to be able deal with the horrible shite we see on a daily basis.
Twitter: mannahattamamma
December 1, 2010 at 4:13 pm
It’s a tempest in a blog(s)pot. Whoever invented the sar-chasm line is brilliant. I always wonder how people cope in the world without humor. It’s like people who were pissed off at the book Cancer Vixen, a graphic novel/memoir about a woman who got breast cancer – brilliant and moving and funny as hell. If we can’t laugh at the things that make us fearful or angry then…the bad guys win. Which is why it’s of national importance that we all continue to make fun of Sarah Palin. Not to mention John Boehner.
Twitter: kobiANDlaelsmom
December 1, 2010 at 8:44 pm
I’m more amused by your replies in the comments than the actual post. You are always starting shit. Good shit though. 😉
Ok Ok Ok Ok. I thought your comment was funny! I also see how it is also a “sick” joke. I have a strange sense of humor, and you have to know-know me to understand that it’s not really meant “like that”. So HAHAHA funny joke. && SHAME ON YOU….you’re Obviously WORSE than a pedophile!! 😉