Last week I was talking to Mama about something and then out of the blue, in order to make her point, she quoted Stalin.
“Are you seriously quoting Stalin?” I asked her.
“I am,” Mama said. And then she explained that it was because on this particular issue he had a point, not that she was a fan of his or anything. Mama really disapproves of genocide and tried to instill the anti-genocide values in me as well.
I thought that it would make a good post. And then I promptly forgot what the quote was.
So I called Mama.
On her cell phone.
If you ever want to call my Mama on her cell phone, I recommend that you beat your head against the wall instead. Because she never picks up. Ever. And she hasn’t set her voice mail yet. Admittedly, she’s only had a cell phone for one decade, so fools rush in where angels fear to tread and all that. (That’s not the Stalin quote, by the way.)
After a few minutes, Papa called me back.
“You called?” he said.
“I did. But I called Mama because I have a question for her.”
“Ask me, I know everything.”
“She had a Stalin quote and I wanted to ask her what it was. I don’t think you’ll know it.”
“Stalin? Was it If there’s a person, there’s a problem. If there’s no person, there’s no problem.?”
“N-no. Although that is certainly catchy.”
“Was it no one is irreplaceable?”
“yes! How did you know?”
“Because I lived in Soviet Union. I know Stalin.”
And now you do too! Go ahead, quote some Stalin to friends and co-workers today. Everyone will have new-found respect and admiration for you. And if they don’t, they’re replaceable!
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
“If there’s a person, there’s a problem. If there’s no person, there’s no problem.”
This is so appropos to my life right now it’s actually scary. I guess I need to replace some people.
I bring you this from my own Mama: funny ,just yesterday your papa and I used both sayings. BTW- the first one about problem actually belongs to Ribakov- the writer of Children of Arbat — but really sounds like Stalin
Twitter: Kwatson8
April 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Now I will sound wise beyond my years at the next dinner party I attend. Thank you. And thank your parents.
Twitter: RedScotPrin
April 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Funny , the only time I have heard the “irreplaceable” quote was at work.
*raised eyebrows*
Twitter: librrra
April 4, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I felt this gorgeous day in NYC was incomplete. Quote some Stalin, here you go!
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
April 4, 2012 at 10:49 pm
There are very few bloggers who can make Stalin funny. You are one of them.
I’m putting that one on our office bulletin board.
Twitter: byrnealaina
April 5, 2012 at 11:36 am
I think that’s the motto of company I work for. And if you knew this company, you would know that makes perfect sense for them to be loving Stalin.
Twitter: marta28
April 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Can’t wait to tell someone they’re replaceable!
Hmmm, I like both of these quotes. Does that mean I like Stalin? I hope not.
I’m in the same boat. Although “no one is irreplaceable” is kind of a bummer.
The first time someone said that to me at work, I was crushed. Then the more I thought about it, the more I realised he was right. So I took a vacation. 😀
Thanks Stalin.
Twitter: mannahattamamma
April 6, 2012 at 12:27 am
You know, really, I think Stalin is under-valued in the “great quotes” arena. If I knew how to needlepoint, I would embroider that on a pillow and give it away. Don’t you think that sentiment would be a lovely gift for friends and co-workers? Maybe especially co-workers. A throw pillow with subtle hint of terror. What a great gift.