Mom, I want to know something but I don’t want to ask you.
You can ask me anything, Young Ladrinka.
It’s private.
That’s ok.
It’s embarrassing.
Would you rather ask Dad?
No. It’s about that puberty talk we had at school.
I will tell you anything that you want to know.
Ok, forget it.
Ok.
Well, is it true that if you have two kids, it means you had to do it more than once?
Yes.
Oh my god.
Except if you have twins. Then, once is enough.
But that’s really unusual.
Yes.
* * *
What I didn’t tell Young Ladrinka is that because he was difficult to conceive (remind me to put him in a huge time out for that) I had to do it many times.
I’m saving that story for his birthday present. As a surprise.
_______________________
I’m over at The Mouthy Housewives today, advising a woman whose husband acts like a giant baby and won’t take responsibility for his own health and well-being. Please check it out!
One year ago ...
- Update! - 2010
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: HalalaMama
June 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm
What kind of wrapping paper do you use for the type of surprise? 🙂 Pictures of people doin’ it? A 9 year old vomiting?
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
June 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Oh I just love these types of questions. Hehe.
I told my kid the other day, well there are three of you and there was the baby I lost and then the time you caught us wrestling… Yeah, somehow that was all she needed to run away and hide from me.
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
June 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Also I just read that post and I’m laughing so hard I am crying.
If you weren’t already married, I’d propose. Of course neither of us are gay so we could totally date other people. But you get the idea.
I’m shaking with silent laughter Marinka. Those last lines just about killed me. FREAKING hysterical! Brilliant! Encore, please! xo
Twitter: amommyinthecity
June 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Haha! I think you should tell that story at his wedding! 😉
It’s funny how when you’re young you hope you don’t have to do it to have babies and when you are older you hope doin’ it doesn’t give you babies. Life.
He is a treasure.
Oh my yes. Enjoy this.
That was GRRREAT! 🙂 How precious (and embarrassing)!
Twitter: MamaWantsThis
June 9, 2011 at 12:12 am
Yee haw! (is that how you spell it)
Not for the first time, I wish I was a fly on the wall in your house.
That was funny–and even more funny if you went further with his conception. LOL.
Twitter: gdrpempress
June 9, 2011 at 1:22 am
Bwwaahahhahaha!
” I had to do it many times.”
That one? I am using, somehow, someway, I WILL create a segue into that comment.
Twitter: letmestart
June 9, 2011 at 6:26 am
I remember looking at my parents as a kid and thinking “There is NO WAY they actually….did….THAT…” then wanting to burn my brain for the realization that yes, they actually did.
Twitter: unsweetenedme
June 9, 2011 at 7:01 am
I only wish my parents would have had the conversations with me you have with your kids!
Twitter: sellabitmum
June 9, 2011 at 7:04 am
“Then once is enough.”
Oh you are brilliant. You can come over and have the talk with my kids anytime.
Twitter: asideofrice
June 9, 2011 at 7:16 am
Be grateful he’s still at the stage when “it” is ew/yucko. But thanks for the early morning giggle. I’m not looking forward to the very same conversation with my own 9 year old son…which I’m sure will be soon.
Oh this is precious.
Twitter: ByWordsMusings
June 9, 2011 at 7:53 am
now there is a conversation for him to take back to the playground and dissect with his friends …
Twitter: MommysMartini
June 9, 2011 at 8:46 am
LOVE this. Can’t wait for these conversations at my house. (Though I’m not sure I’m quite as capable of the witty rejoinder as you are…)
Twitter: allfookeduptoo
June 9, 2011 at 10:10 am
yuck…it’s always an awful moment when you realize that your parents had sex. It’s even worse when you find out THEY STILL DO!
I believe that I should speak to him about recreational sex, he seems to be old enough for that.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
June 9, 2011 at 10:33 am
Tell him that if you have a really hard time conceiving, then you don’t even have to have sex. You just have to give a fertility clinic a lot of money.
Hahaha! I remember having a conversation like this when my daughter was about 7. She really thought I only did it once, to get her and her twin brother. Poor kid was so disgusted when she realized otherwise!
ha ha ha ha ha ha
Twitter: meredithlopez
June 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm
On one of our recent visits to Miami to see my parents my 2 1/2-year old was watching his favorite train movie. Some fireworks came on the screen.
With ALL OF US THERE IN THE ROOM, my dad commented TO HIS 2 1/2-YEAR OLD GRANDSON:
“Those are fireworks. That’s what your mommy and daddy saw when they made you.”
And they wonder why I’m in therapy.
Twitter: noshoppingliz
June 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm
i wish my parents had given me such a thoughtful gift.
Killer ending. Please, please share it with us when you share that news with him!
Parents having sex! Ewwww!
Twitter: Peajaye
June 9, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Look, if you’re trying to turn him gay, you’re gonna hafta do a lot better than that. Maybe get him hooked on one of The Real Housewives shows. Or pretend you’re taking him to see a Mets game, but get off the subway in Brooklyn and go see a ballet at BAM instead.
Could you come and teach sex ed at my school?
Twitter: mommyshorts
June 10, 2011 at 1:51 am
I will pray for him and his Young Ladrinka ears.
I’m rolling on the floor here. Also, I’d have a talk with the awesome dude, if I were you.
You are such a good gift giver. So thoughtful.
Twitter: penbleth
June 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Heh! You naughty Mummy, doing it at all never mind more than once. Do you want to scar your children?
He’s such a lucky boy.
Twitter: NaynaDub
June 13, 2011 at 1:04 pm
That surprise to him would definitely be the gift that keeps on giving!
Twitter: gonnakillhim
June 15, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Does he get the mechanics of ‘do it’. Yikes. 9 and he knows everything about everything.
That present will explode his brain.