Here is a conversation that we’ve been having at our house lately.
Me: So as you’ve probably heard, I’ve been cast in Listen to Your Mother, so I’m basically a huge star.
Everyone else: …
Me: I don’t blame you for being stunned. Although it was really just a matter of time before I was discovered and asked to assume my rightful place in the limelight.
Husband: We’re going to have to go see this thing, aren’t we?
Me: If you’re worried about missing it, calm yourself, because I already bought tickets.
Daughter: FOR ALL OF US?
Me: Of course! I wouldn’t leave you little people behind just because I’m entering a new and very glamorous stage of my life.
Son: Do we have to go?
Me: Oh, you, silly! Yes, you have to go! It’s on Mother’s Day.
Daughter: The only reason I’m going to go is because it’s Mother’s Day and I have to do what you say.
Me: Sounds great.
Son: I HAVE A BASEBALL GAME THAT NIGHT.
Me: Well, I have the stage that night.
Son: Why do I have to go? I already heard what you’re going to read, I don’t need to hear it again.
Me: But I want you there-
Son: Why, so I can suffer? This is so unfair! You know I even gave up going to the Mets game because I have a game. The Mets, mom!
Me: Yes, son Mets are very nice. But how often do you get a chance to hear your mother read a masterpiece.
Daughter: Seems like pretty often.
Me: Alright, already. I’ll think about it.
* * *
And as we all know that I’m not that great at the thinking part, I ask you–do I make my son attend the Listen to Your Mother performance on Mother’s Day or do I let him go to his baseball game? He did miss one Mets game already (we had tickets!) and is going to miss another one because he is committed to his team. But on the other hand, shouldn’t he be forced to sit and listen to me and others for a few hours?
What do you think?
And please, please, please come! It’s a really great cast! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, your husband will work in the area! (Please tell me you get this reference.)
Go here to buy tickets!
And go here to buy tickets for the Mets April 28th game. It’s a great deal!
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
The young man will be exposed to the degenerates all his life, he can skip it once.
It’s his loss if he’s not exposed to your genius. Let him skip it and then guilt him for the rest of his life. It’s the Jewish way.
Twitter: annsrants
April 13, 2013 at 2:33 pm
This would be a bad time to bring up the youtube channel then?
I’m torn. If he’s going to be miserable about it, it might be a bummer to have him there? I went through great pains to have my very young-at-the-time sons brought to the theater for the end of the show one year. I thought it would be wonderful for them to see What Mommy Does. When I went to *receive* them in the lobby afternward, they weren’t just nonplussed, they were whining for candy from the concessions. Happy Mother’s Day!
Wish I lived closer so I could hear you read your masterpiece!
Yes, I would have your son go to LTYM. I think family is all about supporting each other and making sacrifices. As a mother, you are constantly doing this for your kids. I think it would be good for him to have a chance to support something that you worked hard to achieve.
But I’m a hard ass like that.
However, a lifetime of guilt that anymommy suggests is a viable option as well.
“Me: But how often do you get a chance to hear your mother read a masterpiece.
Daughter: Seems like pretty often.”
That absolutely cracked me up.
Who the fuck schedules little league baseball games on MOTHER’S DAY???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is all I have to say on this matter.
Twitter: hessleman
April 14, 2013 at 9:09 pm
Could not agree more. Who are these idiots?
Twitter: Peajaye
April 15, 2013 at 11:21 am
Who? The Bitter And Divorced Fathers Unified Coalition of Knuckleheads or BAD FUCKs for short.
Twitter: asideofrice
April 15, 2013 at 1:52 pm
I thought that about little league games scheduled on Mother’s Day, until last year when each mom was there and we got a “team picture” with all the moms and boys together. Priceless.
Twitter: AnnaLefler
April 14, 2013 at 10:07 am
It’s quite simple: you gave birth to him, he has to listen to you talk (or read, or perform, or whatever).
Hakuna matata.
XO
A.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
April 16, 2013 at 9:30 pm
i agree with anna.
I think he should go to his game…and you should come on during the 7th inning stretch(via some big live/on-location screen thingy) and read your piece…to make sure of proper embarrassment. It’s only right.
What Tracy said.
Twitter: peaceloveguac
April 14, 2013 at 11:37 pm
Let him go to the baseball game, but make him wear your LTYM shirt for a week straight.
I agree that he can go to his baseball game and then guilt trip is the way to go
The horrible part is that you are going to miss going to his game. Does he go by himself, or does Dad have to take him, and miss you too?
It says right there “prominent local writers” – good work!
Twitter: jetts31
April 18, 2013 at 9:36 am
Make him go. First of all its Mother’s Day.
Second of all, when he finally has his own blog up and running, we can all comment on his post about that time his mom made him attend a reading instead of letting him go to his baseball game on Mother’s Day.
Twitter: marta28
April 19, 2013 at 12:10 am
He is downright lucky at the opportunity to hear you speak! Tell him to think of all of us sad people who can’t! Like poor old me!