If You Think Facebook is Bad, Just Wait

Parental Discretion Advised!  Not for children! Or those easily offended/with strong gag reflex!  Happy New Year!

I spent my New Year’s Eve sending Facebook messages to my daughter who was sitting in the next room and ignoring me, because she was playing Bubble Town or something.  Apparently, it requires a lot of concentration.

And because I am ambivalent about Facebook, I have  not bookmarked it on my computer, so every time I access it, I have to type it into my Google search box.  Except yesterday,  I accidentally typed in ‘Faceboom’ and then I thought, eh, close enough for government work, and hit enter.

Because what I expected to see was “Did you mean Facebook?“  Which is Google’s way of giving you a second chance.

And I did, indeed, see that.  But below that I saw something else:

I'm sorry. And Happy New Year!

Holy mother.

But once you see something like this, it’s really hard to unsee it, so I did what any normal person would do: I warned everyone on Twitter not to Google Faceboom.  And then, while they were Googling it, I went to tell Mama.

“Guess what Faceboom is?” I asked her.

“Sperm on face,” she guessed.

“No.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“It’s when someone takes their nose and inserts it into someone else’s anus.”

“Is this for gay people?”

“The site didn’t say.  I think it can be anyone.”

“Why would people do this? I feel nausea and not happy.”

“I think it said that it was to stimulate pooping.”

“Like in case of constipation?”

“I’m not sure, I think it’s more for fun.”

“I think TV is fun, not nose in anus.”

Sure, but what about when it’s all reruns, all the time, Mama?

One year ago ...

• Over! - 2013