It’s hard to sum up Husbandrinka’s feelings towards our cat Nicki. If this were Facebook, I’d put “It’s complicated” under their relationship status. On Twitter, I’d have to say, “Deep regret that she was born”. But this is a blog post, so you expect more. Unless you’ve read this blog before, in which case, hooray that your expectations have been adjusted.
Husbandrinka did not want to get a cat. But we finally prevailed and on most days, he agrees that Nicki is a good fit with us. There are times when he goes positively animal activist on me, like when we are in the car:
One of the joys of travelling in the car with Nicki is not only listening to her scream bloody fucking murder from her mortgage payment carrier, but also having Husbandrinka ask “so, why, exactly, can’t we let her out so that she can run around in the car?” I was so taken aback when he asked me this question, that the only thing that I could think to answer is that it violates a social contact between you and me, with the rest of the universe as third party beneficiaries with enforceable rights. Because if you let the cat loose in the car, you are insane and are a menace to society. First step, letting cat out in the car. Second step, cannibalism.
But Husbandrinka isn’t persuaded by things like social norms, so I had to come up with some alternatives.
“She’ll be able to escape!” I pointed to the opened-a-crack window by Young Ladrinka.
“We can close the windows,” Husbandrinka the Sudden Animal Rights Activist suggested.
“Well, but it’s also that she may jump on the driver unexpectadly and we’d have an accident.”
“What, she’s going to jump on the steering wheel?”
“Or on your head. She could startle you.”
“You startle me all the time with your bullshit and I’m driving ok.”
“She could pee in the car and we’d never get the smell out.”
“Oh.”
Now I’m worried that he will find some cat urine smell removal system and I’ll need other reasons why we should keep the cat safely confined in the carrier. Any ideas?