I’ve told you before mama’s feelings about lice, but if you are new to this blog, you should review them here. Â That was written over a year ago and you’d think that mama would have become more modern on the whole lice issue. But you would be wrong, because mama still maintains that lice is disgusting.
So, it’s with a song in my heart that I had to tell her that several people in my daughter’s class had lice and we were now on Lice Watch ’10, which involves daily checking of hair to make sure that it is lice-free.
“If my granddaughter gets the lice, I will be the dead from the shame,” mama announced.
“Why do you have to be so dramatic? Kids get lice! It’s no big deal!” I was the voice of reason.
“No big deal?” mama was outraged. “Okay, I have gonorrhea. Tell everyone. It’s no big deal.”
So, there you go.
Disclaimer: Mama does not really have gonorrhea. I don’t even know how she knows that word.
One year ago ...
- Ahem - 2012
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Gonorrhea? Lice? What’s the big deal. I have both!
Twitter: kobiANDlaelsmom
January 27, 2010 at 11:24 am
I would question how she knows that word, I’m sure it will make for a post of it’s own.
Twitter: AMOblognut
January 27, 2010 at 11:24 am
Actually, I think it might be easier to get rid of gonorrhea than it is to get rid of head lice.
Just sayin’… 🙂
I had NO IDEA you could get lice from having sex with dirty partners!
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
January 27, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I think you should explain it to her. And then ask what she thinks about shameful lice.
Twitter: CocoAtScreaming
January 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm
It isn’t shameful but it is a major huge pain in the ass to get rid of especially when you have two daughters that had very long thick hair.
I seriously want to adopt your Mama.
Mama and My husband should get together, the whole lice thing was AWFUL because he was such a goober about it. Its a childs rite of passage, making it honorable is a GOOD thing Marinka
okay, so I guess you did tell everyone (even though you issued that disclaimer)!!. Now you’re in for it!
Twitter: spriteskeeper
January 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I think my husband wants our daughter to get lice if only so he can get her hair cut without me screaming.
Now if your kids got gonorrhea, I’d be worried. . . .
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
January 27, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Gonorrhea is the new lice.
I’ll just take the crabs.
One word: pinworms.
Well, the suspicion of, anyhow. And i’m totally wormphobic. aaaaagch.
Also, i’m super susceptible, and now my head itches like mad.
Twitter: SweetPeaSurry
January 28, 2010 at 3:13 am
I’d get out one of those old fashioned scales … you know … like lady justice holds? Right … got it? Okay … now put Lice on one side … and H1N1 on the other … which is the lesser of the two evils? I’d say lice! Although, I have to admit those teeny tiny combs are a real pain in the arse!
Twitter: wendiaarons
January 28, 2010 at 8:54 am
I’m with Sophie. Now I’m itching like a mofo.
Twitter: goldengirlblogs
January 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm
speaking of Gonorrhea…do you think any of the contestants on these dating reality shows are tested for STDs prior to participating? if i were making out with Tila Tequila, Jake the Bachelor, or Flava Flav, i would want to know i was safe. take care.
Twitter: goldengirlblogs
January 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm
BTW, i got lice in the third grade after allowing a friend to brush my hair with her hair brush. NEVER AGAIN!
perhaps, if you spelled gonorrhea the British way, Mama could beam more proudly. you know- as gay John will attest- EVERYTHING British is classier…even gonorrHOea.
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
January 29, 2010 at 1:50 am
Gonorrhea – Lice. Tomato – Tomahto.
I do love the image of someone’s mother saying that though. My all time favorite shocker line from my own ladylike mother was “now I’d say, ‘fuck your jam!'” In context it’s pretty hilarious.
I never thought gonorrhea could make me laugh so hard!
Twitter: homeanduncool
January 29, 2010 at 9:59 am
If she got crabs, it’d be like a two-for-one, right?