Going to BlogHer? Start Worrying!

If you’re going to BlogHer in New York City this year and haven’t started panicking about yet, you are wasting valuable time. Yes, I know that it’s not until August, but trust me, it’ll be here before you know it and then you’ll be all “why didn’t I listen to Marinka and pace out my panic?” and “Marinka was right about everything and now I’m screwed.”

Heed my warning.

You don’t want to go to BlogHer unprepared.
Others have tried and it was not pretty.

So, as a public service, I will tell you all the things that you need to worry about while preparing for the biggest blogging conference. Of course, this post is just Part One, so you’ll want to check back often for other body parts.

If this is your first blogging event, stick to worrying about safe topics like “what should I wear” and “how should I style my hair.” These are fantastic starter worries because you’ve probably nursed them from previous events in your life, so there are low start-up costs.

If you’ve been to a conference before, or feel like you need more of a challenge, why not flirt with worrying that you’ve put on a few pounds since last year? If you need encouragement, pick up a fashion magazine and remember that BlogHer is in August, so goodbye layers and burkas. Start losing weight!

Or, for you outside the box thinkers, why not pile on the pounds now and then plan to lose them by BlogHer ’11, Fiji, so that you can really wow them then? The hard work you put in now into your Sumo diet will really pay off in a year. Just ask Rene Zellweger.

Feeling traditional? Why not cop to the “I will know no one” worry. Don’t let the fact that you made friends last year deter you. It’s totally possible that the “friends” have moved on, made better friends and will totally ignore you. This is probably a good time to send those few “friends” a quick email to touch base. Something simple, like “we’re still best blog friends, right?” and “hey, let’s get matching necklaces so everyone will know that we’re together!” Sure, they may not respond right away, but that’s probably because they’re so touched by your thoughtfulness that they don’t know what to say. Why not send a follow up email? Something like “best friends forever”. Keep it up, and by BlogHer, your friendship will be good as gold.

Ok, so I have many more BlogHer tips that I will be sharing with you soon. Because I’m a giver. And my best blog friend blocked my email.

One year ago ...

• Guest Blogger: My Lovely Daughter - 2009