About a month ago, my kids made their holiday wish lists. 10 year old Young Ladrinka had an extensive list, with model numbers links and images, because he didn’t want to risk our suddenly becoming illiterate and not being able to fulfill his dreams of celebrating Christ’s birthday with an XBOX 360.
Which he isn’t getting by the way, but that’s another post.
But please don’t tell him that he’s not getting it because I want it to be a surprise.
So he has his multi-page list and as he hands it to us, he reminds us that he is also one-quarter Jewish so he doesn’t want to be denied the gift of Hannukah, either, and then my 13 year old daughter comes out with an index card upon which she’d written “I just want to be surprised, but please consider an iPod Touch, in white, thank you!” and then as though she could be any more adorable, she drew a few hearts at the bottom.
Fast forward to last week, when I was looking at the iPods on Amazon and I noticed that they didn’t come in white, but in silver. Hmm, I thought.  I called over my daughter with this existential crisis.
“Silver is the white for the iPod,” she said.
“I see,” I said. “And is this what you want? Because you said WHITE.” (By the way one of my pet peeves is people who pronounce the H in white.)
And she looks at me with what can be described as pity and says: “No. NO. I wanted an iPod TOUCH. You’re looking at the regular iPods.”
So I acknowledged my mistake and went on about my day.
Until I got this email from her.
Subject: just some info for you
you seemed to forget the iTouch details. I was talking about it with [name redacted], so I just got inspired to write this list.
Thank you. Have a nice day at work.
I don’t know. I feel like there’s a hint in that email about what she’d like for Christmas, but I just can’t crack the code.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: JoeHagyauthor
December 20, 2011 at 10:59 am
Maybe you should just shake them up a bit with a lump of I-coal in the stocking!
Real gift under the tree of course.
Cranky
Twitter: librrra
December 20, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Please adopt me. I promise not to pronounce ‘h’ in ‘white’ (how does ne do it anyway?)
See, you promise not to do that, but you’re already curious about it. I see where this is going and I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Twitter: highlyirritable
December 20, 2011 at 1:29 pm
My son wants a Trebuchet and a “sharp pointy stick with a propellor thingy for chopping stuff up” so I may be a bit jaded when I say GET HER THE DAMN IPOD AND FOLLOW HER INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER.
It’s an iPod TOUCH. OMG, how could you have missed that?!
Now I want a sharp pointy stick, too.
(happy holidays!)
Twitter: PhoenixRising73
December 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm
The 10-yr old lovingly provided me a 78 item list. SEVENTY EIGHT! Included was “chair with built in massager.”
Since they obviously don’t believe in Santa, they should get underwear! The End.
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
December 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm
If this is what Tweendom is all about, I’m not ready.
My oldest had a list a mile long, numbered by matter of importance. My middle one circled every item she wanted in the Toys R Us catalog. The boy? Well he wants EVERY toy that he’s ever seen in his life. But he’s easy. I could buy him 5 matchbox cars and he’d be thrilled.
My kid rips items out of the many many many many advertising supplements that fill my paper every day, tapes them to pieces of paper with helpful labels like “Calico Critters” and “Dolls and Electronics”, and seems to think that Every. Single. Thing. is both necessary and forthcoming. Her list – which is also color coded – is probably a hundred items long by now.
I like that idea. Get her an iPod Touch sized box filled with underwear. White underwear.
Twitter: slowpanic
December 20, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Why can’t kids these days be clear about what they want? Why so vague?
Twitter: TheSuniverse
December 20, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Kids are so ambiguous and hard to read.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
December 20, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Maybe you should just give her the cash. She can take care of the details.
One time my son included “a butler” on his Christmas list. They’re just so darn adorable, aren’t they?
I love how she pleads her case, and leaves you no room for error.
Kinda sad, really…like she has a mom who has been known to eff up and buy the wrong thing.
Like you know, picking up a regular nintendo rather than the nintendo 3D ahem, that I’ve heard some mom just did coughcough.
(no wonder I had , I mean, she had, no problem finding one)
Thank you for reminding me that I must cherish these precious toddler and baby years! My kids just want to rip wrapping paper of things, any silly thing is a great gift as long as is has Hello Kitty or Winnie the Pooh on it, including underwear.
Twitter: asideofrice
December 21, 2011 at 7:44 am
The list my kids made was on a post-it note and stuck on the fridge. I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see it.
This cracks me up. It’s a far cry from her first note, “please consider …” I sense desperation. I sense gone is the trust in my old fogey parents who will not get a clue unless I spell it out for them. Explicitly.
Oh lord, I can’t even imagine! The only list I ever remember giving to my mom was suggestions for birthday presents, and it had “1. Red Ryder BB gun, 2. Bowie knife (my dad had lots of sports magazines), 3. Lego set (“boy” colors – NOT pink).” I was 8 then and got a pink dress with puffed sleeves and a Stacy doll (not allowed to have Barbies – Stacy was the 10-year-old in Barbie’s family). How times have changed! I do not know what this iPod touch is, but in guessing it’s over $100. I am currently pregnant with my first and want to begin training at a young age. Should I tell them (no matter how old), “anything on the list over $100 goes straight to Santa and has to be kept a secret from mommy and daddy!?” Damn, I am going to be such a crappy mom.