I interrupt your weekend to bring you a snippet of a fight that I enjoyed with Husbandrinka last night.
OMFG, you ALWAYS do this. Always. I can’t stand it anymore. You’re driving me crazy. You are the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I can’t live like this. HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.
Marinka, this is what those moronic magazines that you read would call “not fighting fair.” We’ll talk about this when you’ve calmed down.
Let me ask you, would you be able to live with someone who called your reading choices moronic?
And you’ll be happy to know that I’ve been able to forgive him and he promised to buy 2% milk like I’ve been asking for thirteen years and not that artery-clogging whole milk that he has been determined to kill me with.
One year ago ...
- Saturday Night Special - 2012
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
May your fights always be as serious as whole vs. 2%.
May your fights always be as serious as whole vs. 2%.
I needed a laugh this morning and this did the trick. THANKS!
men. can’t live with ’em; can’t shoot ’em.
You said, “You are the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD” to someone over whole milk? Fuck you.
It was also not organic.
And thank you, Marinka, for coming through with a laugh in the afternoon too.
Twitter: kidsvomitmice
October 1, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Oh, this killed me.
Twitter: LizDiAlto
October 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm
I love this reply.
HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Specifically, I mean how do you reply so hilariously to an apparently hateful comment? Or is she a friend/frenemy? In any case, you crack me up.
HAHAHAHA “It was also not organic.” OMFG. I am crying I am laughing so hard. Hahaha.
I am glad this was resolved without bloodshed…. in theory.
Twitter: marta28
October 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
If I read this correctly the fight was over your reading choices the milk was the apologetic compromise. Perhaps Ms. Emily should learn to read better.
Also not even organic? Shame on him!
Don’t ever get between a couple who are fighting about milk.
Emily, meet humor. Humor, Emily. I dont believe you’ve met?
Twitter: kidsvomitmice
October 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Also? Meet hyperbole, a useful humor device…
Twitter: arothenfeld
October 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Thank you for the laugh over the fight and also the laugh over the comments.
This is how the fights in my house go too. Very heated arguments over touchy subjects like Dental Floss. Don’t get me started on the subject.
If you marry a moron, her/his reading preferences will be moronic.
Twitter: Glamamom
October 1, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I hate sensitive men.
Twitter: kidsvomitmice
October 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm
The biggest fights are always over the stupidest things. We have an entire list of them. The problem is, we always know exactly what the other person is going to say, so it gets really boring.
I bet it wasn’t even “certified hormone Rh hormone free.” So funny.
Twitter: amommyinthecity
October 1, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Are husbandrika and my husband related? Because this sounds exactly like something my husband would say!
Twitter: gdrpempress
October 1, 2011 at 11:52 pm
Yeah, you’re not supposed to use the words “always” and “never” and name call and threaten to walk and all that.
Yeah, I know that.
BUT STILL: seriously? When they sell non fat?
Twitter: NorthWestMommy
October 2, 2011 at 1:37 am
I have a shelf in my fridge full of thick and creamy to prove all men are the same.
Good God! That man is trying to kill you!
Awesome post! While I do enjoy the comedy, I’m wondering about some of the reverse sexism. At the risk of offending a few for the sake of awareness, try putting “women” in the following sentences. Not cool, is it? Okay, now back to laughing at the original post.
“men. can’t live with ‘em; can’t shoot ‘em.”
“I hate sensitive men.”
“all men are the same.”
Twitter: Peajaye
October 2, 2011 at 5:43 pm
2%?! My partner only allows non-fat milk (re: white suicide water) in the fridge. I’d kill for 2%.
We had a similar argument over rice. If you recall, my husband is Asian.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
October 2, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Heterosexual marriage really should be illegal.
I had a huge fight with a boyfriend years ago over peanut butter cookies. He needed a bunch of cookies for a work function so I made them for him. I used the fork to make the cross marks and dipped the fork in sugar so the cookie dough wouldn’t stick. He saw them and said, “If I wanted F’n sugar cookies I would have asked for them!”
Needless to say, we broke up and he walked away while being pelted with peanut butter “sugar” cookies.
Now I’m pissed again.