Mama came over on Wednesday morning to stay home with feverish Young Ladrinka.
“This is ripping off,” she placed a cup of coffee from the local bagel shop on the table. “One dollar and fifty cents. Nonsense.”
“How much do you think it should cost,” I ask her. “A quarter?”
“In Queens, I buy delicious coffee from Al-Qaida, and it’s 75 cents.”
Blink.
“What do you mean you buy coffee from Al-Qaida?”
“I cannot keep up with your political correct. Â Okay, Al-Qaida-Americans.”
“Do you mean Muslim?” I tried.
“No, not Muslim. Talibanian. Â I can tell.”
“I don’t think there’s a deep Al-Qaida plant in Queens, operating a coffee cart.”
“You don’t think, period. Â If someone is terrorist, they don’t make an announcement. Death to America, Buy My Coffee. Â They are undercover.”
“But coffee is good?” I gave up.
“Excellent. Â But when threat is elevated, I do not buy. Â I like to send a message that I disapprove and he gets my message.”
“Mama, you know that this is crazy.”
“Maybe. Â But boycott make me feel better that I do something.”
“But aren’t you worried that Al-Qaida will try to poison your coffee.”
“Yes, I do worry,” Mama told me. “But the price is too good.”
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: goldengirlblogs
February 24, 2010 at 7:52 pm
wow! mama is hysterical. my mil is visiting for a few days and has already corrected my parenting skills about 5 times in the last 3 hrs. drives me bonkers. your mama has made me happy. thanks for sharing and take care.
Twitter: ohmommy
February 24, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Your Mama should have her own Facebook Fan page.
Now I know where you get your hilarious-streak from. This is a woman whose blog I’d like to read!
I love this post.
mama is killing me. this is hilarious. of course now she has planted this terminology in my brain and i’ll probably come out with al-qaida-american at an inappropriate time. well, i guess no time would be appropriate…
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
February 24, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I like the way she thinks. If it’s affordable, worth a little poison risk for sure.
Twitter: kobiANDlaelsmom
February 24, 2010 at 10:17 pm
You have to admit that 75 cents is a damn good deal, terrorists or not.
I love your mama! That woman is too funny.
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
February 25, 2010 at 12:13 am
Al-Qaida-Americans is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a very long time. She’s a sharp one – Jack Bauer could use her on the CTU team. Seriously though – this one actually made me cry it was so funny.
Twitter: CocoAtScreaming
February 25, 2010 at 6:51 am
Your Mother is a trip. She is too funny.
Your mama should have a radio show! You guys crack me up!!!!!!!!
Twitter: homeanduncool
February 25, 2010 at 11:39 am
Woody Allen needs to hang with Mama.
Twitter: Peajaye
February 25, 2010 at 12:43 pm
maybe we should change our security warnings from colors to something like: Cappuccino, Frappuchino, Mocha, Double Latte, Triple Espresso Grande.
Your mother is a riot! I am sure she would just die if she knew what starbucks charges for a cup of coffee. As does my sportsman, everytime I stop and get starbucks, he reminds me that I should really be cutting back on my coffee in take. Like he is really concerned about my general well being.
OMG! How hysterical!!
Of course you realize your blog content today probably triggered something with Big Brother.
Twitter: theBitchinWife
February 25, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Talibanian!! Brilliant.
Mama, please adopt me.
Your mama is a RIOT!!! I’d LOVE to sit and have coffee with her, just to hear her talk about people! When I bring my family to your neck of the woods, can I borrow mama for a day? I’ll take good care of her, I promise! Of course, it’ll be in a year but I’d like to make my reservation now…
Arab coffee is wonderful. To die for. Ahem.
Twitter: PhoenixRising73
February 26, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I love your mama!
Kate from the Big Piece of Cake sent me over here. I’m so glad she did.
Hilarity.
Really. I can’t even come up with a humorous enough response for this. Just…hilarity. Love it.
I pay 3 bucks for half a cup of coffee. Could Mama help lower the price over here?
Twitter: L8enough
March 5, 2010 at 7:30 pm
My favorite is that your mama doesn’t buy coffee from al-qaida when the terror threat is elevated. I about died at that part.
Twitter: marymoo24
March 8, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I both love your mother, and am very very scared of her.