I feel like I’m on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
My daughter is applying to high school.
My son is maybe applying to middle school.
One of our bathtubs is clogged. The second bathtub is fine, but who knows how long it is before it starts to clog in sympathy?
I don’t want to write about clogged bathtubs.
Not even a little.
I don’t want to explain how when I wash the dishes in the sink that is in the kitchen, the bathtub that is in the bathroom starts to fill up with blood.
Fine, dirty water.
But it would be better if it were blood, because then I’d call the police and they’d send someone over to have a look and clean it up and probably bring me a snack.
And then I’d have a kick ass blog post.
Instead, I have dirty dish water in my bathtub and a superintendent who is on vacation.
“Am I supposed to live like this until he gets back?” I ask Husbandrinka because I don’t know what kind of bullshit this is but it’s definitely not the style to which I’d become accustomed and he says, “Just use the other bathroom.”
If it were blood, he wouldn’t have said that.
And then Young Ladrinka goes to get a slice of raisin bread (this is unrelated to the bathtub. As far as I know) and when I look in the kitchen, this is what I see.
Please to explain to me why the raisin bread wrapper could not make it to Mr. Trashcan?
And why is absolutely everything conspiring to give me a nervous breakdown?!
But! Before you start feeling sorry for Young Ladrinka’s future wife, check this out. It’s his very own secret recipe that he makes for us. With love. And probably unwashed hands.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Flee. That’s really all you can do. A week in a hotel until your super comes back will do wonders. Don’t take the family.
Twitter: JoeHagyauthor
October 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm
You may not be raising basketball scholarship material!
Cranky Old Man
Twitter: MommysMartini
October 25, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Perhaps if your bread wrapper and my dirty laundry put their heads together, they could figure out a way to climb up into those nearby bins all on their own?
Twitter: gdrpempress
October 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm
When you start thinking blood..blood would be good, it’s time to call up friends and have a drink.
Just a little one.
Something to take the edge off.
xo
Twitter: Peajaye
October 25, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Given that the trashcan was so full, I think it was very considerate of Young Ladrinka to leave the raisin bread wrapper so close by.
Twitter: RedScotPrin
October 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Yeeeeeeeeeah. The 14yr olds clothes? ON THE FLOOR ALL AROUND THE HAMPER. Is it SO HARD to toss them INTO it rather than AT IT? The room is NOT BIG.
And don’t even get me started on unwashed hands and the fact that 99% of the chips in this house become HIS ALONE seconds after purchasing. OY
Be careful – if the sink backs up the toilets probably will too.
Joe is right if your sink is backing up in your tub, the clog is further down the line. The toilet may back up too. Exciting stuff, eh? I’m glad to know im not the only one having these fun home adventures.
I suppose we can be grateful that the bathtub is not filling up with sewage? A little? Sending a virtual glass of Malbec.
Twitter: sellabitmum
October 25, 2011 at 9:48 pm
At least he did not put the empty wrapper back in the cabinet..empty. That’s what my husband does.
Sending you unclogging thoughts.
P.S. Your son’s secret recipe sounds fantastic. Too bad he’s way too young for me…
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
October 26, 2011 at 12:25 am
I am always astounded by how many things kids just leave on the floor.
Tell you what I’ll send my eldest, who now goes by the name of ‘the drillmaster’ to you, she can teach Young Ladrinka to properly dispose of the garbage. She thaught her 15 month year old sister and my husband, so Young Ladrinka will be a piece of cake…
You know that saying, a picture is worth a thousand words? That’s what that photograph is. Except we’re lucky enough to get your words too, which make it all the funnier. Ordered TWO of your books yesterday! Because I’m mad about Marinka! And I want to look good in your comment section! No, the first one!
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
October 26, 2011 at 10:06 am
I am currently married to the future version of Young Ladrinka (do his dirty socks end up on the floor next to the hamper?) Also? I am very happy to hear that your bathtub is not filled with blood.
Twitter: marta28
October 26, 2011 at 10:11 am
We, being lazy, use our dishwasher for everything. I pretty much don’t hand wash anything. So when our dishwasher broke it filled up the sink with dirty dishwater water. Which meant I had no dishwasher and no sink. It was a challenging few days. But no blood!
Twitter: gonnakillhim
October 26, 2011 at 10:35 am
My whole life goes down the drain – ironically – when clogs are afoot.
I have 3 daughters and 1 bathroom/bathtub – Suck it up!
If his trash can’t make it into the can, it’s probably better he can’t cook. Otherwise his future wife is going to have a LOT of cleaning up to do.
Twitter: theflyingchlupa
October 27, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I really do miss that about NYC – the vacationing superintendent. Although it’s simply been replaced by the inept husband and the extremely expensive repairman.
Good luck with all the water, blood, raisin bread bags and growing children.
Twitter: TheSuniverse
October 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Maybe add red food coloring to the dirty water so that you can say it’s blood? Otherwise, I’ve got nothing but sympathy.