Green Market Cuisine

Ah, autumn!

It’s time to head to the green market and gather some of nature’s bounty!  Because today I am cooking with the freshest ingredients from local farms, thereby supporting my farmer friends and guaranteeing healthful eating for my family.  I am awesome.  My Saturday morning is off to a fantastic start!

What’s this?  A phone call?  A friend that I haven’t seen since Thursday is inviting me out for coffee and girl talk?  I have to be there for a friend! She may be in crisis?  No, just to chat? Well, of course she’s not going to spill everything on the phone, this has to be approached with intense delicacy.  Yes, I will be able to meet her for coffee?  What am I, an animal with no feelings?  I’ll just get Husbandrinka to go to the green market in my place and I’ll be all set.

Hi, Husbandrinka!  What are your morning plans? Oh, working out and then reading the paper?  How about instead of that, you go to the green market and get me some fresh and wholesome ingredients for beef stew.   Yes, I could go myself, but I have to talk a friend down from the ledge.  I am sighing deeply because I am worried about my friend, why do you think I’m sighing?  I resent deeply the implication that I am melodramatic.  Bye, Husbandrinka, say hello to the farmers for me!

Welcome back from the Green Market!  I am now ready to cook beef stew!

The idea of raw meat is totally grossing me out!  A can of Dinty Moore’s would sure come in handy right now!   But here we go, I mixed two pounds of cubed beef with a quarter cup of flour and some paprika and set it to stew (haha! wiping tear of laughter!) in the oven. At 425 degrees.  For 25 minutes!

Bye, pre-stew beef!  See you soon!  Please try to look less repulsive the next time I see you!

Now it’s time to prepare the green market vegetables!  It’s a good thing that Husbandrinka was able to get them because they look very heavy! And my friend, let me just say that I may have saved a life.  She told me that she and her husband were going to see that new movie Couples Retreat and I told her that it looked awful from the commercials.  Thank goodness that I was “there for her” because now she totally owes me.

But enough of my heroism, it’s time to slice some carrots.  Husbandrinka knows that I love baby carrots and he got these!

We are baby carrots. Our parents are Sumo carrots.

You  know what would really help this post? No, Husbandrinka, not “if it had a point or any relevance to anyone but Marinka”.  Some cute kid action. Because OHMommy enhances her cooking posts with kids and I like to steal ideas whenever possible.

Kids are not interested. Kids are disinherited.

Hi, Nicki! Remember how you were at a shelter, about to be put to sleep and I rescued you?  Well, time to look pretty for the camera.

I was at a no-kill shelter, dumbass. And what's with the ear cropping?

Of course you’re more than a pretty face, silly Nicki!

Make sure that your carrots are no longer than a cat’s tail.  Unless you have a bobcat.

I kan haz karit tayl

Let’s see what other goodness Husbandrinka bought.

Hello, odd looking vegetable, who are you?

And you?

You look like an albino radish!  See?  Here is a radish next to you, surely you see the family resemblance!

No need to be embarrassed.  We are equal opportunity vegetablists.

What’s this in the corner?  My daughter’s key chain?

With a rewards card? A GODIVA CHOCOLATE REWARDS CARD? What the?

Ok, back to vegetables.

Eh, just slice and dice everything and throw it in.  Add a chopped onion.

Lower the heat to 350 degrees.  Add a can of diced tomatoes, with the diced tomato juice, quarter of a cup of water or wine (bonus points of you can turn the water into wine, heathens!), cover and leave for an hour to an hour and a half.  Oh, also add a bay leaf.  And some spices.  I added a packet of Lipton’s Beefy Onion Recipe Secrets .  And found out that the long pointy vegetable is celery root.  And the albino radishes are turnips.

When you have about half an hour to go, add some sliced white mushrooms.  I also like to add some frozen peas.   But they did not come from the green market.

Delicious.  Serve over noodles. With a bucket of wine.

When kids look on longingly, remind them that they did not help AT ALL with the photo aspect of the culinary journey.  Certainly something to think about. 

But finally relent and give them some, too.

Because family is what green market cuisine is all about.  Family and farmers.

One year ago ...

• Pop Quiz - 2010