Sorry, but my son is a big Monsters v. Aliens fan and this is a very funny line from the movie because it comes with fun hand gestures which I can’t show you because this is a blog and not a video screen.
But he’s been repeating it a lot and we all laugh whenever he does it. Mostly because the sooner we laugh, the sooner he ends his impersonation.
I like the line because it’s a real attention grabber and I don’t understand why people don’t use it in meetings all the time.
1. A friend of mine said something very funny. Her million year old cat is constipated and she has to give it enemas and she emailed me that “I’m about to put the cat out of my misery.” Don’t tell Nicki.
2. I recommend highly that you subscribe to my feed. That’s the RSS button right there. I’m not sure what RSS is, I mean, I know it stands for “real simple something” but I’m assuming that they’re using the word “simple” with a great sense of irony because no one knows what the fuck it is. Anyway, the reason that I ask you to subscribe are threefold-fold: (a) This week only, the subscriptions are free; (2) I’m a self-promoting whore and (iii) I am going to be posting a very unflattering photo of myself soon, but I’ll have it up just long enough for it to show up in the reader, and then I’ll be pulling it. This means that if you’re not subscribing, you’ll miss horrifying photos of me. I don’t know how you’ll be able to live with yourself.
3. I am undergoing blog reconstruction. See those tabs up above? No, not above your head, at the top of the blog! I’m trying to sort all my posts into those categories and adding more categories. If you have any category suggestions, please let me know. Thank you to Cyn, aka Nap Warden for doing all the work. Oh, and if I’m found murdered and dismembered, she should be considered a top suspect, because I’m sure that I’ve driven her insane by this point. But I’m repaying her by calling her an insane murderer!
4.Here is a picture of the back of St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Wednesday afternoon. In case you haven’t heard, New York got a new Cardinal, and a lot of men dressed in white to celebrate. I’m hoping that posting this picture qualified as a mitzvah and brings peace to earth. I’ve done my part.
5. And here is some art. This is outside one of the auction houses and it makes me smile. I mean, I don’t actually stand in front of it, grinning like an idiot, it’s more of an internal smile. At least I think it’s an internal smile, maybe I need to google WebMD or something.
6. Now that we’ve covered religion and art, how about some pop culture? 
ok, so it’s not really pop culture, it’s the back of the Today show studio. What? They left the door open and I took a picture.
7. Ok, I have an idea that is so mind-blowing and radical, that I’m even afraid to write it down. You know the whole Monsters vs. Aliens
movie? And children’s movies in general? What’s the thing with celebrity voices? They have to pay them kazillions, the big names take the job from some poor deformed voice actor and who gives a shit? Not the kids, they have no clue who these people are. And certainly not the parents. Because I guarantee that no parent went to hear Reese Witherspoon in that movie. We went because our kids dragged us and we would have gone if the characters had been voiced by Sarah Palin and John McCain. So this is a great way for the children’s film industry to make money. They’ll probably ask me to be president of Children’s Movies once they hear this idea, so I may not be posting as often. Maybe I can get Reese to guest post, though!
8. If you’re going to be in New York City next weekend, please consider walking with us in honor of Maddie. Click here to sign on to our exclusive team. And thank you very much to everyone who sponsored my walk. I assume you’re ok with my taking a cab ride instead, right?
9. Some of my funny blog friends are putting together a room for BlogHer in Chicago this summer. I’ll definitely be there (unless there’s a RHONY reunion show or something at the same time) and it would be awesome if you’d vote for them to get this room, too. Oh, stop being coy and just do it already. You’re getting sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavy, you are in my power. Click here.
10. Did you skim this post? I sort of suspect that you did. You really should go back to re-read it because there may be a quiz soon.
One year ago ...
- Dear Parole Officer: - 2010