From the monthly archives:

July 2011

Good bye

by Marinka on July 30, 2011

When I started blogging over three years ago, I had no idea what I was in for.

I had no idea about the friends that I’m meet, the partnerships I’d form, the amazing opportunities that I would have.  Through attending conferences and events and visiting my Google reader,  I’d met so many truly talented and wonderful people that I literally cannot imagine my life without them.  And I’ve been so lucky to have people come and read what I write and be supportive and laugh with me (and occasionally at me).  It’s really hard to give it all up.

And yet, I need to be honest with you and with myself.

Because I see the end in sight, and I always thought that when that happened I would just say it, instead of leaving people wondering.

I’ll start at the beginning and end at the end.

A few weeks ago I got an email from the people at Splish Splash, a water park. And they asked if I’d like to take my family to a water park for the day. And I had one of those moments when I pretended that I’d never met myself before and that I was the kind of person who likes doing fun things with her family, so I said Sure!

And we’re going tomorrow.  Sunday.  July 31st.  You’ll need this information for my tombstone.

Splish Splash people sent the tickets and I immediately proceeded to Not Think About It.  My daughter, however, proceeded to read every inch of their site and screech things like “Oh EM GEE!  There’s a Tunnel of Terror! You drop from 40 feet in 12 seconds and it’s in the DARK!”  and “A FIFTY foot drop! Into a 10 foot deep pool!” and “Drop 10 stories in THREE SECONDS!”

I looked at the park map and almost had a nervous breakdown:

 

The Lazy River looks promising

 

I’ve been having chest pains all week.

At first I thought that it was as a result of the heat and humidity and that as an older person, I should be taking in easy in this weather, but the chest pains persist even when I’m in a climate controlled environment.

I am having serious anxiety about this water park adventure.

And I’m assuming that it’ll be the end of me.  So I wanted to say good bye to you properly.

 

{ 47 comments }

History Lesson

by Marinka on July 29, 2011

My 13 year old daughter and I get ready to run out for some quick groceries.

I notice that her hair is unnaturally shiny.  Like Grease-is-the word-shiny.

What the fuck’s up with your hair, I ask. Albeit not in so many words.

I put olive oil in it, she explains as though that makes sense.

Olive oil? I tilt my head to the side, because I admire the RCA dog.

Yes, she says, with a side of duh.

Whatever for? I ask. Albeit with some hand gestures thrown in.

And she’s all, “Look, the Greeks put olive oil in their hair and they have the softest hair in history.”

And this is why kids shouldn’t do drugs.

What the ever fuck?

But who has time to argue? We go to the store.

And on the way to the store, I tell her that my friend Greek friend Loulou has never once, not ONCE mentioned slathering her hair in olive oil, so I ask my daughter where she heard this load of crap from. (By the way, when I see Loulou, I don’t say, “Hello, my Greek friend!  Let us eat olives and watch Zorba movies!”  I just put the fact that she’s here for clarification. Because I am building my open and shut case.)

“I mean the ancient Greeks,” she tells me.

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” she tells me. “The Ancient Greeks had the softest hair.”

“They did not!” I tell her, because I don’t want her slathering her hair with oil going forward.

“They did too!” she says, because she is thirteen.

“Well if they did, that’s why they’re extinct!” I say and my daughtger is absolutely stunned.

“They’re extinct?” she asks. It’s like they learn nothing in school these days.

“Well, do you see any ancient Greeks around?” I am not giving up.  I’ve seen Sarah Palin in action. I know how it’s done.

“I’m Facebooking this,” she says.

“Do not.”

“Why? Is it private?” She is mocking me, you see.

“It’s controversial,” I try to massage it.  “It’s painful for our Greek friends.”

And then she says some other stuff that I can’t bear to listen to anymore.

I’m going to be buying a lot of olive oil.

{ 40 comments }

Back Up Plan

July 28, 2011

Young Ladrinka and I had a talk last week about how although it’s important to have dreams and goals and all that crap, you should have a back up plan in case the whole professional baseball job doesn’t work out for him. And he listened and he understood and he is working on a new […]

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I’m Right, You’re Wrong: Dinner Time!

July 26, 2011

This is the second of four posts sponsored by Hillshire Farm. When I was young and single and mortgage-free and had a body that no one thought was gestating, I spent no time at all planning meals.  There were summer days when my dinner consisted of a steamed artichoke, and yes, I would indeed look […]

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Brace Yourself

July 25, 2011

Earlier this year I made some back of the envelope calculations and realized that we needed to make financial cutbacks. It’s almost like I foresaw this whole debt ceiling fiasco.  So I thought about it for a while, looked around my family, and decided that we’d do away with Nicki’s annual visits to the vet. […]

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Break

July 24, 2011

I’m upset about the news from around the world and I need a break so I turn to my kids. On Friday, we were stuck on the subway for a super long time.  Fortunately the train had half-pulled into the station, so I could see that help could be on the way if needed and […]

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Papa and His Circumcision

July 22, 2011

A few months ago I asked Papa if he would write a guest post for my blog about his circumcision.  No, I don’t mean by uncovering a repressed memory.  Papa had a circumcision a few years ago, as an adult. “You’re getting WHAT?” I remember asking him when he told me that he was going […]

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The Unthinkable

July 21, 2011

Yesterday the unthinkable happened. I was standing around minding my own business and a woman that I see every few months came up to me and said, “Oh my God, Marinka, are you–” and then where her voice trailed off, she made the international sign near her abdomen for pregnancy.  Or maybe watermelon. I’ve heard […]

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