From the monthly archives:

March 2010

Voicemail Message

March 9, 2010

I see that I missed a call from the kids’ school. My heart does that clenchy thing. I dial my voicemail and hear Young Ladrinka. “Hi mom. I just wanted to let you know that my sister did something really evil to me in school today. Okay, bye.” To be continued.

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Yum!

March 9, 2010

Fantastic news, everyone! New York City chef Daniel Angerer is now serving cheese made from his wife’s breast milk! If you’re like me, this means that your gastronomical prayers have been answered. Why put up with one more morsel of the same old cow-sheep-goat cheese while dining out, when you can have Lori Mason cheese. […]

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Too Long for Facebook

March 8, 2010

I tried to post this on my Facebook page, but was told that it was too long. So now you have to read it here. Why not write to Facebook and tell them of this inconvenience and suggest that they get rid of character limits for updates? Note to self: If you are on a […]

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Umm…

March 8, 2010

Sorry, I meant “Om” because I’m taking yoga and I’m all enlightened and shit. Here’s my problem with yoga: It reminds me of a fish tank. When I was in teenager, I got a fish tank because I read somewhere that it was relaxing. I have no idea why a teenager needs to relax, although […]

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Love in the Time of Cholesterol

March 6, 2010

Two weeks ago I got my blood test results. My doctor left me voice mail and said that it was basically fine, my bad cholesterol was high, but my good cholesterol was also high, so everything was okay, but then I ran the results by Papa (and I’ll reveal one of my blog secrets and […]

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I’m Back

March 5, 2010

I’ve been away from blogland a lot this week, and I’ve missed it. I was doing other things, drug trafficking, if you must know, but I feel uncomfortable talking about it on my blog because people are so judgmental. “Ooh, drugs are bad!” “Just say No!” It’s almost enough to make me give up trafficking. […]

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Bear Soup

March 2, 2010

John called me. We have been a bit “on the outs” lately because I decided to spread an internet rumor about him. I wanted to tell everyone that he is sterile and he got super mad and told me that he was extremely virile and was going to impregnate me to prove it. Rude. But […]

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Don’t Take This The Wrong Way, But It’s All Your Fault

March 1, 2010

Last week I was over at Aiming Low, reading  Barefoot Foodie’s post about how some fucking bitch called her fat on Facebook.  Being a recent survivor of having gained 20 pounds myself, I felt her pain.  And then I read the comments to that post. I read how she was embraced through virtual hugs and […]

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