From the monthly archives:

August 2008

So, like most other people, I’ve been hearing a lot lately about John McCain’s pick for VP, Sarah Palin.

About whether women, particularly those annoyed that Hillary is out of the running, and who have had recent lobotomies, will flock to her.

About whether she has the necessary experience to attend funerals abroad.

About whether the comparisons between McCain & Palin and Regis & Kelly are inevitable.

So, this post is not about that.

This post is about Obama and my lackluster response to him, despite the fact that my fellow democrats are throwing their virtual underwear at the computer screen at the very mention of his name.

“Yes, we can!” they chant. And have been chatting for the past year or so. It’s really annoying to me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Until now.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE CHANTS “Yes, we can!”

Do you?

If you are a mother with children under 7, boys, in particular, you certainly do.

That’s right, the beloved cartoon character, Bob the Builder. A builder, A problem solver. A working class man.

And what does Obama do? He steals from him. I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but as far as I know, Bob is still building, still answering the phone in the middle of the night to go on repair emergencies. If Obama paid him for his catchphrase, surely he’d be kicking back a little, not chasing after every job.

Plagiarism. Theft. How Obama can think that we’re all so stupid that we’ll let him get away with this is simply beyond me. But I think it shows clearly what he thinks of women in general, moms in particular and the working class in general. Nice.

But perhaps this helps explain his appeal to the younger generation? “Yes, we can!” strikes such a familiar chord, brings such nostalgia to us young ‘uns, that is it a source of comfort, of Sunday cartoons and we flock to him.

And notice the media’s total failure to call him on it. Nice, liberal media.

But I am telling you, blog friends, so that you can be on alert.

So that when Biden comes out dressed in a giant purple suit, singing “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family!” you will be hip to what’s going on.

We must hold our politicians accountable.

Although if McCain started channeling Captain Underpants, he’d totally get my vote. Wedgie Power!

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We are going upstate New York this afternoon, to my parents’ house, to retrieve our kids, who have been vacationing up there this whole week. But with school starting next week, we thought that we might as well get them.

This morning, I walked through the Union Square Greenmarket which is so obscenely beautiful that I am still shocked that Giuliani didn’t try to shut it down when he was mayor. Farmers from the NY area, upstate and Long Island, and New Jersey, come and offer their produce. It’s fresh, it’s gorgeous and it’s great to buy from people who are so involved. And plus, Bernard Goetz (remember him?) is around Union Square a lot, training squirrels or something. Seriously, what else could you want in a green market?

Today, I saw this display of flowers, and it was so breathtaking that I decided to photograph it. And while I was trying to get a good shot, while telling the flower selling man that I am not a gifted photographer and he reassured me that my camera is great, so basically how badly could I fuck it up, I dropped my cell phone on the concrete and it made this shattering noise that completely ruined the serenity of the floral appreciation moment and bonding with the flower farmer or whoever he is and I almost had a stroke on the spot.

But aren’t the flowers lovely? And I like the broom in the corner so much I almost asked if I could borrow it for my commute.

And now for awkward transition: When we were upstate last weekend, dropping the kids off at my parents (is it me, or is anyone else thinking that my kids should learn to drive and stop depending on us as their personal chauffeurs, or parents, or something?), we saw a tree in the forest that had been hit by lightning a few weeks before. Eerie. And yet while taking this picture, I managed not to drop my cell phone. Because if a cell phone falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear me complain about it…

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Free Relationship Advice. Worth every penny.

August 28, 2008

I will never give anyone relationship advice, but one thing I know is that if you ever find yourself comparing your marriage to any movie, you must stop immediately and start drinking instead. Or do whatever you can to distract yourself, because believe me, unless you’re comparing it to The Shining, your relationship will not […]

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Questions

August 28, 2008

My husband recently told me that he does not want to answer my hypothetical questions anymore. Or other questions that he sees as “traps”. I think that this is unfair. I am listing several hypothetical scenarios that he recently evaded, just so that you can see how silly he is being. 1. If I died […]

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Doggy Style

August 27, 2008

Last year a woman who works in our office brought in her dog to work with her. For no apparent reason. What made it so odd, besides the fact that there was a dog in our normally canine-free office, was that she was so matter-of-fact about it, like it was something that we all did […]

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PokeMom

August 26, 2008

So, I’ve been on vacation/Pokemon torture chamber. My son has been talking to me about Pokemon nonstop with an intensity that makes waterboarding sound like a pleasant distraction on a hot summer day. A typical conversation, that springs out of absolutely nowhere, goes something like this: “Mom, guess who my favorite Pokemon is.”“I don’t know.”“Guess.”“Give […]

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Life Mysteries

August 25, 2008

On one of the last days of our vacation, I was lying in bed in our rented front door ajar and no lock house, listening to the dogs barking up a storm. Except there was no storm of course and that expression has never made sense to me. But it reminded me of Hound of […]

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Guest Post, Jr.

August 22, 2008

Today’s guest Blog Post is from my 7 year old son. I transcribed the story that he told at breakfast. And of course didn’t tell him that I was going to use it on my blog. Because I know how to exploit people. Underage people. Children. That sounds so wrong, doesn’t it? Hi, FBI! Oh […]

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